Monster

[This song is not romantic. At least not in the traditional sense. The word ‘lament’ comes to mind. I chose this song to transition out of the relationship described by She said, She said and Naked on the album.]

look at where this got us
after all life is strange
i remember asking for the lord to show his face
subtle or malicious?
i don’t know all the ways,
all i know is—

[Monster was written mid-whiplash after a messy break up. I was looking for guidance because I couldn’t figure out how things went so badly so quickly]

You made me a monster
When I tried to give you everything that you wanted
How’d you get so good at dodging blame,
My darling
Scary thing, the skeletons that stay in the closet
Waitin to haunt us

[I’m glad you got things off your chest in the end. This is me doing the same]

you wanted everything;
I wanted luhhhh Uh OVE
and now you’re telling me that i wasn’t enough
it’s a bitter pill that you want me to choke on
it’s officially the furthest from a slow song

The epitome of tough love and a heartbreak
are you kidding me? you really think it’s all fake?
will you run into the village crying wolf
bare my soul
shear the wool
break the skin let it run RED!

[Right here I’m using the wolf and sheep imagery and using the contrast between the two figures to represent two sides of the same coin. You cried wolf, but I shear wool to bare my soul. The violence of the shearing drew blood.]

you’re too narrow girl
i think you should get out more
all this trial did was show me how to transform
i would look around the corner for a threat,
but i guess with friends like you what do i need to look out for?
ohhhh

You made me a monster
When I tried to give you everything that you wanted
How’d you get so good at dodging blame,
My darling
Scary thing, the skeletons that stay in the closet
Waitin to haunt us

You made me a monster
When I tried to give you everything that you wanted
How’d you get so good at dodging blame,
My darling
Scary thing, the skeletons that stay in the closet
Waitin to haunt us

dices que soy un diablo
or am i a narcissist
make up your mind

[“You say that I’m a devil. Or am I a narcissist? Make up your mind”
It feels the worst that the relationship ended right when I thought things were looking up. I was not an attentive partner at the beginning; when I realized that, I changed how I was moving. Call me all the names you want..]

i’m losing my head;
sleepy hollow
a dime for a dozen
ain’t so hard to find,
but with you the change start to shine
and polish
acknowledge:
you not bein honest
there’s no use in pleading—the feeling is mutual 

[Yeah man I had never been in a relationship, and the experience changed me. It revealed some really nasty flaws in myself and highlighted how nice it felt to care about someone past a certain depth. All of the experience was new to me; I was learning on the job. So why are you saying these things as if I’ve been out to get you?? I don’t think you’re being honest either]

i’m sick of the fiending 
the searching and yearning 
i learned it was me that was earning the curses
emerge from the cold
and become a warm person
afraid of the feeling, we scuttle like vermin
avoiding the mirrors and hope they don’t hear us 

[The whole thing was a learning experience. Trial by fire hahaha. I’m thankful for the cleansing aspect; I feel like I breathe easier now on the whole.]

after all life is strange
i remember asking for the lord to show his face
subtle or malicious?
i don’t know all the ways,
all i know is—

You made me a monster
When I tried to give you everything that you wanted
How’d you get so good at dodging blame,
My darling
Scary thing, the skeletons that stay in the closet
Waitin to haunt us