Lonely Man

[This was the first song I wrote, from before there was IFCKane. I wanted to give it life because it meant — and means — something to me.
This didn’t make the album because it was about a different person. But clearly some lessons take longer to learn.]

rides a lonely man

through the valley of thieves

He won’t get far

In the belly of the beast

[I have this imagery of a cowboy in my head riding alone through a lawless town.
No friends, no family. Just enemies and open road.]

silly little pictures in my brain

looked at you 

could’ve swore i saw a ring

thought the love was true

you just didn’t have the range

wish you let me knew 

now my pain all on a page

ay-

[Oh man, my heart was broke-broke. I didn’t know how to show this girl I liked her, so I spent more
and more time with her hoping it would magically evolve. I think she started to get sick of things not moving forward, or maybe she got sick of me. I felt helpless.]

Had me 

all I wanna SEE is you LAUGHIN

athlete running through my HEAD like a Track Meet

Bad Dream

Gave me cold sweats

Wake up with the bed soaked

Fearing that you left 😔

[Meaning I was having nightmares that she left. I don’t think I actually did, but I totally could’ve.]

You just loved to push me 

I thought it was a test

You said you couldn’t stand me

I thought it was in jest
[I thought she was joking or being difficult to be cute but NOPE apparently she really did not fw me after a while. Shorty had no qualms about showing it either DEVIL WOMAN hahaha.]

Passion building up I can feel it in my chest

I was finna burst finna POP like some pecs

Tried to tell you how I feel,

that the love was really real

It was tears in my eyes 

All I saw in yours was steel
[She did NOT care. She didn’t have to either, to be fair. But I wasn’t thinking like that at the time.]

Ooh so heartless ooh so cold

Where are the 808s [Like 808s and Heartbreak (s/o Yeezy)]

Where is your soul?…

[It’s crazy, I wrote this song to an entirely different beat. When my producer (s/o 4lowershead [luv u Egor]) sent me THIS beat, these lyrics came to front of mind. It so happened the 808s cut out around these lines. Coincidence? I think not…]

I was bending over backwards

Like a yoga pose

Tryna entertain you

You starin at your phone

Or lookin right through me

Pretending you alone

Anyone there ? ET? Phone home? [(s/o the classic: E.T.)]

How did it get like this

have you forgotten?

We was so beautiful 

now it’s all rotten

I’m tryna pick your brain

ooh like it’s cotton

You tryna start some shit

Why won’t you stop it?

What IS the problem then?!

Why all the opp shit?

We was a dream team like

Batman and Robin

You was so radiant 

now you’re just toxic

maybe a bold move from me 

would fix all this?

Nah-

[I couldn’t help but wonder how things went so wrong. She didn’t start off hating me; I think she liked me reciprocally in the beginning. But I didn’t know what I was doing, and nothing came of the fantastic connection, so she probably got a little disgusted+disappointed, or something like that.]

I’m not the source of this drama

keep making me hurt

I’m calling yo mama

I’m not a contortionist 

Don’t call me papa

Yeah don’t call me padre

I cannot absolve ya

[Padre = Father. Don’t call me Father like I’m some sort of priest. You’re foul, and you’re wrong, and I won’t be the one to tell you you’re forgiven.]

The prettiest puzzle

I just couldn’t solve ya

Thought all the pieces fit—

Edges was sawed up

[Puzzle imagery. You look at the box and it’s like WOW this finna look GREAT when I’m done. Then you open the box and someone chewed-then-spat-out every single piece. A mess.]

I put my faith in it-

My little startup :)

You put yo hate in it >:(

That’s why i’m caught up 

damn…

[I had no game! Hahaha I couldn’t put nothing in it BUT faith fr. Live and learn though.]

I ain’t see this coming and it shows

When you ridin on a high

Somebody gon bring you low

Somebody gon take yo heart

and yo Brain

and Yo Soul

And LAugh at YOUr Pain

And DANce On yOUR gravE

AND MAKE YOU INSANE

that love shit is dangerous [21 Savage “fax”]

I didn’t look both ways, that’s why it banged me up

I’m in a better place

learned how to change it up

When we start blowin up:

BITCH, you can’t hang wit us

Nah you can’t come here and partake in fame with us

Why don’t you disappear?

POOF

Like some angel dust

Like when I needed you

That shit was lame as fuck

I’m still out here jaded, fuck

Bitch you fuckin switched

You broke my heart you let it rip

No farting shit
[My mom HATES this line. “It’s so stupid, why would you say that?” HAHAHA man it’s not about the specifics of the line. You can FEEL it better than you can read it or hear it.]

You fucked around and then you dipped

You fucking dipped

Left with this bullshit as I sit and reminisce